Airplane Travel Drama

You all hear the stories.... travel drama... stuck in the airport for hours, sitting on the runway, the loud snoring fat man next to you in the middle seat...

I take all of these with a LARGE grain of salt due to the countless times I am on an airplane in a year. It's the not-so-fun-perks of travel for work. I am Gold on NWA and A+ Rewards on Southwest... nothing to brag about, I just fly a ton. Not much phases me or makes me look twice, but my recent flight from SFO to MSP (sorry--- airport lingo.... San Francisco to Minneapolis) is a story in itself. All because of 1 idiotic woman who made my toes curl and NOT in a good way.

Let's start with the off-site parking lot...
Woman screaming because the shuttle stopped to pick up other passengers when she is late to catch her flight (note later... she is on MY flight--- we have PLENTY of time)
Continue.... she screams more that we must stop at International before we get to Terminal 1 (why must she be getting off at my terminal???)

Now I get inside...
Woman causing a scene because she has to pay for her checked luggage (where has she been??? everyone knows this is the case now--- airlines are being cheap- way to make $$$)
Moving onto the security line... same woman...
REFUSES to dispose of her $25 lotion (above 3 oz) because it is brand new and she just paid for it- well, not even sure what happened there, I moved on
Again.... who the hell does not know the 3 oz rule these days??? Have you heard the term... Threat level orange???

Keep going...
How many times does the gate agent have to tell people.... "We are currently boarding First Class ONLY"- Yep, you guessed it, same woman... Can't wait her turn

Now on the plane (not upgraded to First Class this time- darn that Delta/NW merger!!!)...
The woman, yes same woman, wants an isle seat, but she has a middle seat-- she did not think of this before? The plane is FULL- no open seats- bitch and moan some more

Not done yet.... As they always state-- "First Class passengers ONLY in the front bathrooms- and no lines formed at the front of the plane"--- Ms. I-Don't-Listen walks from row 20 (just a guess) all the way up front and just stands outside the cockpit door. Really??? "Miss- you can't form a line and these restrooms are for our passengers in First Class only". HIGH PITCHED screams come next.... Not joking. Come on!

I'm done. Time to recline my exit row seat, put on my Sony noise-cancelling headphones, and plop Jessica Simpson in the straight-to-DVD movie "Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous" into my lil' portable DVD player. Wait- did I just admit that? I guess that will be another blog entry tomorrow... Is that chicken or tuna??? No clue Jess...