Why It's Good to be Single

It's my birthday in 3 days... I'm going to be 37... I'm single with no kids. I love it. Why you ask? Well, for many, many reasons, but here is the one I am going to share with you today:

THE BIRTHDAY HAUL FROM THE FOLKS AND GRANDMA

Since my brother and I are both single, and there are no grand kids, we rake it in. This year, we are all are going to Cabo San Lucas for a week starting tomorrow morning, so the gift opening ceremony took place today before the departure.

The haul:
* Tiffany & Company necklace (those of you who know me, know I LOVE Tiffany jewelry )
* Wok (time for some stir fry!)
* Some other fun stuff from Sur La Table- colorful whisk, cupcake potholder... (makes ya think I cook, huh?- ummm... not so much)
* Random stuff from Gap (you can never have enough stuff from Gap)
* A new set of pink & black polka dot travel bags (I seem to go through these more than the average girl due to my many travels plus I am a product whore... I know... This is the girl who spends over $100 on face lotion...)
* Pedi-egg (one of those things you never want to admit to purchasing yourself, but who does not desire smooth-as-a-baby-bottom heels!!!??? I'll let ya know how it works)

I admit it. I love gifts. Can't get enough of 'em. Oh- and I really love my folks and Grandma too. :)
Off to Cabo a lucky girl I go....

Airplane Travel Drama

You all hear the stories.... travel drama... stuck in the airport for hours, sitting on the runway, the loud snoring fat man next to you in the middle seat...

I take all of these with a LARGE grain of salt due to the countless times I am on an airplane in a year. It's the not-so-fun-perks of travel for work. I am Gold on NWA and A+ Rewards on Southwest... nothing to brag about, I just fly a ton. Not much phases me or makes me look twice, but my recent flight from SFO to MSP (sorry--- airport lingo.... San Francisco to Minneapolis) is a story in itself. All because of 1 idiotic woman who made my toes curl and NOT in a good way.

Let's start with the off-site parking lot...
Woman screaming because the shuttle stopped to pick up other passengers when she is late to catch her flight (note later... she is on MY flight--- we have PLENTY of time)
Continue.... she screams more that we must stop at International before we get to Terminal 1 (why must she be getting off at my terminal???)

Now I get inside...
Woman causing a scene because she has to pay for her checked luggage (where has she been??? everyone knows this is the case now--- airlines are being cheap- way to make $$$)
Moving onto the security line... same woman...
REFUSES to dispose of her $25 lotion (above 3 oz) because it is brand new and she just paid for it- well, not even sure what happened there, I moved on
Again.... who the hell does not know the 3 oz rule these days??? Have you heard the term... Threat level orange???

Keep going...
How many times does the gate agent have to tell people.... "We are currently boarding First Class ONLY"- Yep, you guessed it, same woman... Can't wait her turn

Now on the plane (not upgraded to First Class this time- darn that Delta/NW merger!!!)...
The woman, yes same woman, wants an isle seat, but she has a middle seat-- she did not think of this before? The plane is FULL- no open seats- bitch and moan some more

Not done yet.... As they always state-- "First Class passengers ONLY in the front bathrooms- and no lines formed at the front of the plane"--- Ms. I-Don't-Listen walks from row 20 (just a guess) all the way up front and just stands outside the cockpit door. Really??? "Miss- you can't form a line and these restrooms are for our passengers in First Class only". HIGH PITCHED screams come next.... Not joking. Come on!

I'm done. Time to recline my exit row seat, put on my Sony noise-cancelling headphones, and plop Jessica Simpson in the straight-to-DVD movie "Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous" into my lil' portable DVD player. Wait- did I just admit that? I guess that will be another blog entry tomorrow... Is that chicken or tuna??? No clue Jess...

PEEPS!!!

Short, but sweet... Easter entry:

Q-WHAT IS BETTER THAN PEEPS???

A- STALE PEEPS!!!

The staler the better- more stale = more yum! The older they are; the chewier they are. It may sound gross, but it's the truth.

Chew on!!!

How Clean Are Hotel Rooms? Really...

We have all heard the stories... and have seen the expose' on the news that reflects on how hotel rooms are really not that clean... such as maids doing who-knows-what with your toothbrush and never washing the drinking glasses or washing them with window cleaner...

Due to the fact that I spend many a night in a work related hotel room alone, I have a definite ritual when I arrive in the room whether it's the Ritz Carlton or a Motel 6 (ok, that's a lie- it's usually a Hilton). Basically, there are 2 MUSTS:

1- Immediately pull the comforter off the bed and NEVER go near it
2- Get out my travel-size Clorox wipes and wipe down EVERY surface, starting with the remote control

My friends and colleagues find this humorous, but I think it's simple: Safety First!

Here is what I have heard, and I do NOT think many of these are urban legends.
In addition to the toothbrush and glasses fiasco...

* Men with 1 hand down their pants and the other on the remote while enjoying some adult entertainment (think comforter as well- and you know they RARELY wash those things..ewww- oh, the comforter, not the men)
* Flight attendants using the coffee maker to wash their nylons- think hot water running...
* NEVER use the lotion provided in the bathroom--- you never know if it's REALLY lotion
* Turn the pillow cases inside out or simply bring your own- just to safe, ya never know...

I think that should do it to start. Just trying keep the germs away. Or, I may cause you to never want to stay in a hotel as long as you live. Not my intent, but your decision.

Happy Travels friends!

CRAZY STUFF THESE DAYS...

Ok, I am a serious slacker these days... It's been 3 weeks since my last post. Ugh! While I do NOT have the life as exciting as a movie star or anyone famous for that matter, I'd like to think I have SOMETHING to say in 3 weeks!

My excuse would be work... I have been incredibly busy, working tons of hours, and on the road. It will probably be that way for the next 2 months... Hey- I'm lucky to have a good job, right!?

So, I figured it would be a good time to chat about what has caught my eye (or ear) these past 3 weeks. Now, some of these I might wince later for admitting now, but that is the chance I must take- as well as my personal punishment for waiting 3 weeks for blogging.

Here goes...

* Tough Love on VH1

* Keeping Up with the Kardashians

* Disaster Movie

* Muffin tops

* Bikini Line Razors

That is enough for now. 5 will do it this round. Let's get started...

* Tough Love on VH1- if you have not wasted this hour of your life once a week, but are looking to feel better about yourself (female), I highly suggest you invest the time. It will make you laugh if nothing else. Gist- a Match Maker (male) tries to "help" a group of women (I use that term VERY loosely) ranging in the age of early 20's to late 30's understand why they are not lucky in love. My favorite so far: gals tagged with shock machines that the "match maker" shocks when they say stupid things on blind dates. Seriously... check it out...

* Kardashians- OK, I am obsessed... really. I know... I know... Kim Kardashian is famous for a sex tape and big butt, but I seriously am roped into this ridiculous reality show (I swore I would never become reality show junkie, but whatever...) Do I want to hear about Bruce Jenner's colon viewing and hear him say "poopie"? No... Do I want to see Kim get the cellulite on her butt worked on? NO... But somehow, I keep getting pulled in. Try it. You'll like it. Or hate me for making you waste the time. Imagine that- it's on E! right this moment! Khloe goes naked for PETA!

* Disaster Movie- Yep, it is as the title says. But I did laugh out loud because it was so incredibly stupid. Have you scene it? Attack of Alvin and the Chipmunks??? Again, I know... but laughing at my on stupidity I chalked up to covering my sit-up requirement for the day- my belly was hurting from laughing so much. And, in case you were not aware, Kim K. stars in this movie as well (ok, again I use the term "star" loosely), I think I see a trend here...

* Muffin Tops- No, not the yummy top of a blueberry or lemon poppyseed muffin... Yes, I AM going there---- the fat-over-the-waist-band thing. I had to add this. I saw soooo much of it San Diego last week. Is this REALLY necessary? BUY A BIGGER SIZE! Enough said. Gross. Move on.

* Last but certainly not least.... what the heck is up with the promotion of all of these new bikini line razors things out there? And- to make matters worse, the "coiffed bushes" in the commercials? This is the worst case of subliminal advertising I heave EVER scene. But, I guess they have made their point. I definitely remember the commercials... Please don't buy one. Just get a wax. Brazilian if you must.

So, that is what has been on my mind these days. I know... GET A LIFE! Right? I have one. It's just busy making fun of what's going on in the world when everyone else thinks we are in a recession. Mindless fun. That's for me.

Ta Ta.

Neti Pot

Do you know what a NETI POT is?

Check out the lovely picture to the right...

I heard about it from my Mom awhile back, but it just came to mind this week as I was suffering more than 5 days of an AWFUL cold and cough. Well, from the picture, it sure looks fun, eh? Yep- that is exactly how it works...

Fill a pot "neti pot" with a solution of warm water and saline (basically salt), pour it in 1 nostril, while continuing to breath through your mouth, and the solution runs out the other nostril.

HOW WEIRD IS THAT!?

Kinda gross actually, but several friends on Facebook swear by it, so...

I picked one up at Walgreens last night for $15 or so. I ran home with excited anticipation- to try the thing out (you'd think it was a new pair of shoes or a great bottle of wine!) Yep, feels kinda strange the first time (ok, now it sounds like sex or drugs!), my eyes even watered a bit, but no pain- and I think it helped. Think...

I have now completed 3 "sessions"- one more on the way tonight- not sure if my cold is getting better or if it really works, but I'll try anything.

So, if you like shoving stuff up your nose and/or like to feel something kinda funky... give the Neti Pot a try.

Fashion Crisis in Las Vegas

My Oh My--- I am behind in keeping my blog. Where has the time gone? Well, let me see...Minnesota, New Orleans, Santa Cruz, and Las Vegas to be exact. Whew- I'm glad to be home for the next week or 2. Anyway, I digress from the purpose of this latest entry.

WHAT THE HECK DO THE PEOPLE IN LAS VEGAS THINK THEY ARE WEARING??? DO THEY EVEN LOOK IN THE MIRROR BEFORE THEY LEAVE THEIR HOTEL ROOM???

Seriously.... not everyone is a showgirl (nor should they be) and not every woman has the body to wear a tight mini dress. And, what the heck is up with beer-bellied men wearing the skin-tight t-shirts? Is there a National Tightest T-Shirt Contest on the Fattest Man that I am not aware of?

Wow- I saw high heels that had platforms so large I swear they had living swimming goldfish in the heels, so many sequins my head was spinning, feather boas (for real), and cowboy hats so large men could carry their entire families around on the brim. What are people thinking???

I know... What Happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.. But that is supposed to be GOOD, not BAD. This is definitely bad- borders on pure insanity really.

People- it's not Halloween every day in Las Vegas- sure, it's different, and you can let loose (not literally) a bit, but come on... Please. Take my recommendation. Own a full length mirror and use the one in the hotel while you are at it.

Rant is now over.

What the heck is an Amuse Bouche anyway???

What is an Amuse Bouche? Sounds like... a-mooz boosh? Ya? My education on this "thing" comes from a Friends episode years back when Monica makes an amuse bouche for a potential client (I think it was a very high Jon Lubitz?) and when she serves it to Chandler to sample, he says, "It's amoozing". Huh. I guess you had to be there to catch the humor.

Anyway, according to Webster's- An Amuse Bouche is a tiny bite-sized morsel of food traditionally served prior to the first course of a meal. Who really serves these things anyway? Well, I for one have experienced 3 servings at recent meals.

1- Frida in Cabo San Lucas about 6 months ago (some sort of seafood)

2- Lucy in Denver about 3 months ago (can't remember but it was yummy)

3- Level 3 in San Francisco this past weekend (well...)

This is where the question and answer begins...

While at dinner, at Level 3 with a group of 6, we were all surprised by the serving of an "amuse bouche". Here is the fun part... WHAT IS IT??? SEE THE PICTURE.. CAN YOU TELL???

Turd dipped in powder?

Dog food sitting in ketchup?

Rotten Cheeto?

Ok... Times up. It's a date dipped in coconut with some sauce. Interesting...

Anyway, half the table thought it was tasty while the other half thought it was disgusting. I simply thought it was entertaining. Enough to create a blog all its own.

Here's to an amoosing week!

Let's Talk Superbowl

Biggest day of the year in sports, huh? My question is this...

If I do not live in Pennsylvania nor Arizona and I am not a fan of the Steelers nor the Cardinals, who do I cheer for???

Do I cheer for the Steelers because a friend is a huge fan and that is who he wants to win? Or do I go with the co-worker who is on the Cardinals side because he lived in Arizona in the past? Ugh. Don't get me wrong... I enjoy watching the game (especially in High Def on a big screen TV with pizza, beer, buffalo wings, 7-Layer dip.... okay, I am getting ahead of myself now). I like the excitement of the "big game" and of course the entertaining commercials and half-time show. Bring on "The Boss"!

Back to the "who to cheer for" question. My belief is you should be a fan of the team where you actually live and not just become a fan for whichever team is playing in the Superbowl. For example, I was a Vikings fan when I lived in MN even when they were not winning (which was most of the time). Oops- that does not work because I am neither a 49ers nor a Raiders fan. The one time I went to a Raider game in Oakland, I thought I may be killed before the 3rd quarter. Frightening fans. Really. Trust me on this one.

Ok- how about the girly-girl way to go and cheer by colors of the uniforms. I even overhead a discussion while getting my hair cut the other day about the mascots. We obviously have a bird (cardinal) and according to the person whom I was eaves drooping on, the other mascot is a "thief" (get it- "stealer". Oh boy...) Ha! Reminds me of the movie "Steel Magnolias" when Olympia Dukakis's character was interviewing football players on the radio and she thought "color commentary" was about the uniform colors. Well... if I went that route, I may never get another date as long as I live.

So, final decision: I'm gonna go with whomever Dad says. Bruce Springsteen may the half-time show, but Dad is "The Boss" in my book.
Kick off will happen soon. Enjoy the game.
Are you ready for some football???

Some Florida Sunshine

Sharing a little from Naples, Florida... Pretty much what Florida brings: beach, relaxation, sun, food, cocktails... Who can complain about that, eh?

I ate a bunch of fish... grouper, mahi mahi, yellow snapper... yum-o! (Sorry, don't mean to sound like Rachel Ray). Drank a few fruity cocktails...

The new thing... Naples Zoo... how fun. Do you know what a Foosa is? I did not- do now! Do a little google search if you are curious. Check me out with the cardboard tiger. Grrrr...

Back to Cali I am...